Friday

Taking kids to bagel shop this morning cuz it's Friday. I guess I'll go the gym, but I don't really want too. However, I'll feel much better after working out.
Sigh. . . . . difficult for me to accept my life as it is. Wanting the circumstances to be different. Still living in the fantasy at times. Thinking about things and dreaming about things that are not my reality. The dream I had really made me feel lost this morning when I awoke. So it is really important that I stick to my routine (what routine?) today.
Difficult for me to trust. To allow things to happen without my control. Give space when others need it. When I need space I expect it will be given and I can not stand it if someone tries to control me. But you ask for space and I struggle with giving what I want given to me.
I don't think it's gonna be an easy day for me. I need to stay busy. I really want to run away today already and I have not had to deal with anything yet, except for thinking about Curtis. That gave me a heavy heart. Well, time to get the kids up because I'm still living on this earth and now I'm responsible for two little ones.
Later my fellow freaks. . . . Lisa