Gonna Take A Lot Of Lovin'
To fix this broken heart. . . . .
Not feeling sorry for myself today. Not feeling resentful. Not feeling like to hell with it either. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm actually feeling very free or as free as I've felt in a long time. I'm feeling like I'm making my own decisions again. I'm feeling in control of myself.
It could all change at any moment as I do not know how solid this is, but each and every day I am getting stronger. I thought about drinking today, but I did not have the urge to drink, but the day isn't over yet!!!!
I hear the kids in the hood playing in my garage. They could all play down the street outside at the boy's house who has the big basketball thing in his driveway, but they would rather play in my garage with a little ball and a hoop I bought my daughter that hangs on the door. It's an indoor thing but I got to where I could not stand the noise upstairs so my husband put in the garage and we move the cars out. There they play. I think it's because I go out there and talk with the kids, tell them they are doing good. They are at my house or my yard a lot. That's OK because then I know what they are doing.
This year parenting has taken a step further and I have had to come up with new stratedgies and ways of dealing with my kids. I am doing it, but it is not easy and I feel totally worn out when they really test me. My kids' personalities are comming out even more this year, last night my daughter was totally trying to piss my son off. Then when I got upset with her she got really mad at me! I think she wanted to have a fight!!! She wanted to justify her anger. I've recently learned that anger is an emotion people exhibit when they are not able to let themselves feel hurt. It's a cover up emotion. So I see I have work to do. I see no matter how hard you try, your kids are going to have their share problems. The difference between me and my parents way of dealing with it is that I am telling my kids things like "Anger is a cover up emotion. If you don't deal with your feelings you are going to suffer in your adult relationships." I will listen to my kids and I will try to help them. But I can see right now, I've failed in some way or the world has had it's impact on them already because they have insecurities and they have ways of dealing with them they will not really help them to overcome the insecurities they have.
I really believe I need to stay in praryer with God. I need to ask God's protection on them. I need to ask God to reveal to me what it is I can do to be a good parent (probably example), etc. I have to follow through. I have to seek to read, go to seminars, talk with other parents and find out what works for them.
I remember potty training my son. I had him doing pee in the tolit, but he would not poop in the tolit. He got big enough that he would poop in the diaper and then take the diaper off. I had gotten him to pee in the tolit by doing this: I took him to toys r us and let him pick out a toy he really wanted. We brought it home and everytime he went pee in the tolit, he got to get the toy out and play with it for 15 minutes. He then had to put the toy back until the next time. This worked really well and he liked following the rules on that. However, it wasn't enough to get him to poop in the tolit. So we read books on it, that didn't work. When I spoke to some friends they said tell him that when he turns 4 he doesn't get to wear a diaper or pull ups during the day anymore and he will have to begin to poop in the tolit. I did that and it worked!! Just like they said. He pooped either once or twice in his underwear and that was the end of that. My daughter didn't even require potty training because one day after my son went pee in his little potty chair and was getting big hugs from me and grandma, my daughter who was barely talking said "my turn" and me and grandma looked at eachother in surprise and said "ok". We got her on the potty and sure enough, she went!! That was that.
Ok, time for some house work before the arts and craft thing I'm taking kids to in a bit.
Later Blog Freaks!!!
Lisa
Not feeling sorry for myself today. Not feeling resentful. Not feeling like to hell with it either. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm actually feeling very free or as free as I've felt in a long time. I'm feeling like I'm making my own decisions again. I'm feeling in control of myself.
It could all change at any moment as I do not know how solid this is, but each and every day I am getting stronger. I thought about drinking today, but I did not have the urge to drink, but the day isn't over yet!!!!
I hear the kids in the hood playing in my garage. They could all play down the street outside at the boy's house who has the big basketball thing in his driveway, but they would rather play in my garage with a little ball and a hoop I bought my daughter that hangs on the door. It's an indoor thing but I got to where I could not stand the noise upstairs so my husband put in the garage and we move the cars out. There they play. I think it's because I go out there and talk with the kids, tell them they are doing good. They are at my house or my yard a lot. That's OK because then I know what they are doing.
This year parenting has taken a step further and I have had to come up with new stratedgies and ways of dealing with my kids. I am doing it, but it is not easy and I feel totally worn out when they really test me. My kids' personalities are comming out even more this year, last night my daughter was totally trying to piss my son off. Then when I got upset with her she got really mad at me! I think she wanted to have a fight!!! She wanted to justify her anger. I've recently learned that anger is an emotion people exhibit when they are not able to let themselves feel hurt. It's a cover up emotion. So I see I have work to do. I see no matter how hard you try, your kids are going to have their share problems. The difference between me and my parents way of dealing with it is that I am telling my kids things like "Anger is a cover up emotion. If you don't deal with your feelings you are going to suffer in your adult relationships." I will listen to my kids and I will try to help them. But I can see right now, I've failed in some way or the world has had it's impact on them already because they have insecurities and they have ways of dealing with them they will not really help them to overcome the insecurities they have.
I really believe I need to stay in praryer with God. I need to ask God's protection on them. I need to ask God to reveal to me what it is I can do to be a good parent (probably example), etc. I have to follow through. I have to seek to read, go to seminars, talk with other parents and find out what works for them.
I remember potty training my son. I had him doing pee in the tolit, but he would not poop in the tolit. He got big enough that he would poop in the diaper and then take the diaper off. I had gotten him to pee in the tolit by doing this: I took him to toys r us and let him pick out a toy he really wanted. We brought it home and everytime he went pee in the tolit, he got to get the toy out and play with it for 15 minutes. He then had to put the toy back until the next time. This worked really well and he liked following the rules on that. However, it wasn't enough to get him to poop in the tolit. So we read books on it, that didn't work. When I spoke to some friends they said tell him that when he turns 4 he doesn't get to wear a diaper or pull ups during the day anymore and he will have to begin to poop in the tolit. I did that and it worked!! Just like they said. He pooped either once or twice in his underwear and that was the end of that. My daughter didn't even require potty training because one day after my son went pee in his little potty chair and was getting big hugs from me and grandma, my daughter who was barely talking said "my turn" and me and grandma looked at eachother in surprise and said "ok". We got her on the potty and sure enough, she went!! That was that.
Ok, time for some house work before the arts and craft thing I'm taking kids to in a bit.
Later Blog Freaks!!!
Lisa
posted by Lisa at 3:50 PM
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