Resentments

I rencently realized that I have been nursing a few resentments against family members for a very long time. I have felt very justified in having these resentments and probably most people would agree that I have a right to be angry.
However, I know today that these resentments will kill me spiritually. I have used these resentments to justify my weakness, my bad attitude, my self pity. All of these defects of my character that cause me great pain in my life.

I was recently told and read in a book that the only way to get rid of these resentments is to pray for the people who you resent or who you feel have harmed you. Doesn't that seem like a crazy idea to you? It does to me. Unless of course I was praying for revenge! It has been recommended that you pray for all good things for them. Well today I did. I got on my knees and I prayed for my family members with tears in my eyes. I only did this because I've been told it works and I want to make changes in my life. I believe the only way I'm gonna do this life thing better than how I've been doing it is by getting rid of the wreckage in my past. I don't want to carry any bad shit forward to the future. I want a clean slate. I want to be the best mom and best lover and best friend I can be to those people in my life that I care about. So I'm taking these steps to get out of my self pity. I have plenty of it too. It's an ugly thing and I've had enough!