Stay in the Moment

Oh Boy, What a week! What a year! What a mess!
My life has been turned upside down by me!
I decided to get out of my victim role and do something about my unhappiness. The only problem is that I can't turn it around in just a few moments or just a few hours or even a few days. It takes time to un-do all the knots I've made in the threads of my life.
I can see beautiful blue sky and clouds out my sliding glass door. I can see a hill top with lots of trees on top and the little branches on the sidewalk tree's swaying in the breeze. It is a sunny peaceful look and I need to be there, in the moment. Not in the future (is my husband going to bring this shit up again when he gets home that we just got done fighting about?), not in the past (I can't believe I reacted like that, now he knows the button to push to get me back in the psycho game we play), just stay here in the moment. A beautiful day. Many things to be grateful for.
I have some paper work I will get done over the weekend. I will not allow distractions, but I also need to commit to not allow my husband to piss me off and get me off center because then I am unable to concentrate and remember what the hell I am doing!!!
Everything is going to be OK. I have to keep telling myself that. I have been in a panic over my finances. I think my husband actually enjoys this in a sick way. I can not live like this. It is just too crazy for me.
I am going to concentrate on living here and now. I am ok right now. I am sober right now. That is all that matters.
Later Blog Freaks!
Lisa